So here’s the deal. I haven’t been posting for a looooong time because I’ve been busy planning my next big move. Since the untimely death of Michael Jackson, Southern California has been bereft of one it’s all-time greatest lunatics. Enter Doomlund…
That’s right. My drunken threats to immigrate were not idle, and I’ve just unpacked all my stuff and settled into my new home in Los Angeles among palm-trees, convertibles and goddess-like women. In the future I plan to minutely record all my experiences on this blog, all for your reading pleasure. ‘Mmm… trippy’ is now on California vibes so stay tuned for updates. I promise laughter, I promise tears and maybe… just maybe… a tiny bit of info on stuff that doesn’t direcly involve me.
In the meantime here’s a short list of things I’ve learned during the past week living here in L.A.:
1) Pants - that aren’t cut-offs - are known as sweat-repositories
2) If you lock yourself out of your own place at nighttime, be sure NOT to live in South Central
3) DO NOT light up a smoke in Griffith Park during a month-long dryspell unless you want the security guards to crack down on you Rodney King-style
4) If you’re buying a car DO NOT consult a used car salesman who wears a clip-on tie and calls himself ‘Big Al’ or ‘Big Jerry’ og ‘Big’-anything (infact, steer clear altogether of salesmen who use an adjective as a prefix)
5) If you don’t like poisonous spiders DO NOT go into crawl spaces in the basement (if, on the other hand, you do like spiders please leave this blog as you are completely out of reach)
6) Should you ever find yourself in a conversation where the sentence, “I’m not really that much into college football” pops into your head, please stop it before it reaches your tongue. Just shut up and compliment the team-mascot or the cheerleading squad.
That having been said, Doomlund digs L.A. and the angelinos. Stay peeled for more…
Heyo,
Doomlund
